Journey to freedom... Becoming a true gift for others.

Alright, I've decided to blog again haha...

Today has been a really great day. Full of learning, mostly about myself, how I used to run my life... Well, I still do. But I'm on my way out of it.

I'm on my way to freedom.

That will be the day... reminiscing a past movie called braveheart, where he shout's FREEDOMM!!!

I would also declare freedom from all my defects, and in turn to live a life motivated by love, and never again by fear.

What I learned today. Just in case I might forget, I will note them down here.

That when I work on one part of myself, focus on that one thing which I will let go. That one part of the system of fear in me, which I will gently challenge.

The whole system of fear get's shaken up and weakens...

Another is turn a negative into a learning...

Instead of envying, become interested and learn..

I learned that, I tend to take attention as a substitute from real love...

So I'm letting that go. Slowly, gently, then I can be ready for the real thing itself.

Also when I fear, I tend to focus on myself, how I can benefit, how I must do something in order to prevent loss. It's all about me, me, me, and me...

So I'm letting that go as well... Turning the focus on the interest of the other, for the good of the other... To focus on how I can bless instead.

When I'm desperate for something, I learned that I can become overbearing... And I actually push the other away, instead of attracting.

Lastly, I learned that, all those things such as judging others, putting them down, paranoia, etc. are really just symptoms of what is really pushing the mind, which is either fear, inferiority feelings, hate (misguided love), and guilt, the four principal troublemakers in the realm of the personal subconscious.

Thanks to my spiritual director/ psychologist priest friend (Well, he's not really a psychologist, but he has gone through these things and so he is able to help me.), I'm finding value in myself, and I am on my way to freedom.

To be free to love, just as Jesus loved.

To be free to live a life of love...

Online Passive Income Passion: Opportunities are Real on the Web

Online Passive Income Passion: Opportunities are Real on the Web

Starting again! and Things that I have learned...

Wow

It's been a very long time since I've written here.

Well to start it off again, I will just jot down whatever I have learned so far.

It's really hard to do God's job. That is to change a person. It's just really frustrating. At the end even God does not force a person to change. I guess our job is to love the person for who they are, and just gently prod them, correct them. Just listen to them, to pray for them, and just love them. And let God be the one stir the person's heart.

Hmm... What else have I learned?
Oh yeah... about love.
Real Love only seeks the good of the other... meaning unconditional love. Not expecting anything back. Which is really hard, because as complex human beings, we need to feel loved. But I guess as we grow with age, spiritually, mentally and relationally. And of course with the help of the Holy Spirit. We will do just that. Real love.
So if everyone gives love without expecting anything, it seems to me everyone will be satisfied, because everyone will be loving each other.

Next one would be...
Judging a person. We really can't judge a "book by it's cover."
We just don't know what really is going on in the background, or what's going on the person's mind. We might as well be projecting on the person what we think may be going on, which might be a part of us that we are projecting, or what we project may not necessarily be true.

Next.
Most Sicknesses are psychosomatic. Meaning, sickness coming from repressed emotions.
When we repress our emotion, we kick it back into our subconscious. And then these emotions come back to haunt us as sicknesses.
What our emotions are, are actually signals on where we can grow. We have to listen to them, and acknowledge them. Not necessarily act on them. Just do the wisest thing, and what is right.
Hmm why we do this, is because we can endure physical hurt better than an emotional hurt.

Most of what I've learned is from the books that I read, and seeing them actually happen in real life heheh...


Hope you've learned something new! =)

Me blaming God...

I can't sleep...

So I might as well rant here.

I've been bothered by something lately. And honestly I was having the tendency to blame God for it. That's being brutally honest of me there.

"Why can't I sleep Lord??" I would exclaim... punching the bed.

Why aren't you allowing me to??

And yeah I told myself that I can't blame God. And so I dug deeper, searching for what was really bothering me and cutting me off from my sleep.

Geez... I happily slept at 10pm. Then I suddenly woke up at 1.30am and not being able to sleep any more.

Probably I had energy again to fuel that thing that was pestering me.

I searched, and started to feel fear.
Fear that I was inadequate. That I was not good enough.
I realized I had based myself on the expectations of other people. That I have to be good, I have to love the poor. I have to be good in my studies, I have to be this, I have to be that.

And if I didn't reach any of those expectations I would start to scramble and try my best to do whatever is required but I would fail. I then would start to feel guilty, and feel like a failure.
Like I lost their love for me because I wasn't able to be what they wanted me to be.

I felt my anger escalate and I started to lash back at those things, at all those expectations. I felt like a rebel; "I don't need you to tell me what to do." "I'll do them if I want to." "Stop pushing me around."
(I'm not really the type of person who likes to confront others, so all these were going on in me.)

Look, sorry I can't live up to your expectations ok... I just wanted to feel loved.

I already knew that God loved me just as I am. But it was just very recent that I have started to take it to heart.

So it can't be God's fault for what was going on in me.

And so I had two conflicting things. God loving me just as I am, and the other saying that I have to be good and all that stuff or else I won't be loved.

I realized that I have been chasing those things for love when I actually already had love in me. Just like those cartoon characters with a carrot dangling in front of him and he keeps chasing it never to actually catch it.

From there I realized that I had learned to place high expectations on myself. (And probably on others as well.) Disguising them as "I have to aim high." "High goals" Then I would look at myself and feel like a failure for not reaching those 'high goals'.

Chasing something, and the harder I went after it the more elusive it got.

I don't want to do something out of somebody's expectation, or anything at all...

I recently learned that God loves me just as I am, even if I wake up in the morning and I haven't done anything good, He still loves me.
I don't have to do anything good and He will still love me.

So you ask me... Why then be good? Why not just be bad? Since He will still love me anyway.

Because I have tasted and felt His Love, It is hard not to be good or not to do good.
(Originally from Bo Sanchez's talk -"How to mature in your spirit.")

It is His Love that will transform me, I just have to accept and receive it. Grace...

Therefore I want to do things out of love, to give love, and not to be the one chasing it.
To overflow with love, and that love will bless the people around me.

Love,
Gabby "The life giver"

"The Secret Of Staying in Love" John Powell S,J - A Book Review

“The Secret of Staying in Love” by John Powell, S.J. is not exactly what you initially think it is about, just by looking at the title. I always used to say so when people started teasing me when they saw the cover of this book. But while it is true that it contains the secrets of staying in love, I want to stress that it isn't merely about tips and tricks of how to stay in love on a shallow level. I’d say this is the ultimate book on how to stay in love WITH your spouse or anyone you’re very close with.


It’s funny because here I am, a young adult to be, reading this kind of book. Sometimes, I think I get ahead of myself. Anyway, enough about me, more on the book. Powell starts with the individual person, on the celebration of being you and a lot on self-esteem and having a good self-image.

What struck me the most was that to love others, you must equally love yourself. “True love of others is premised on a true love of self.” I was really struck by that, as I had previously learned differently -- to forget self and just love others. But here’s a book saying something totally different. As Jesus Himself says, love others as you love yourself. So, if you can’t love yourself, it will be hard for you to love others effectively.


Radical isn’t it? The book also explains how selfishness is the very opposite of self-love. It is a form of insatiable greediness. The book also challenges the reader to confront himself by asking, “What are my true feelings? When I hear someone being complimented, why do I say, ‘Don’t tell him. It might go to his head.’? Why don't I want others to be happy with themselves?”

The book goes on to explain how this lack of self-appreciation really affects everybody. It hinders us from true and effective loving, as we seek to distract ourselves from this pain, resulting in addictions and other problematic circumstances. Then Powell explains how this can lead to what you call “fake” love. He goes on to explains what Love really is, as opposed to what it was thought to be previously.

Then comes the biggie. The secret of staying in love. I won’t tell you what it is, or else you wouldn’t read the book... Haha. One thing’s for sure, I never really thought of it that way. This 'secret' really brings people closer together. And it actually makes sense that you must love yourself just as much in order to be able to apply this secret of staying in love with another.

Powell really strikes where it matters most, and brilliantly weaves the book together starting fundamentally from the individual to the couple staying in love. This book is full of wisdom, and will definitely change the mindset of the person reading the book.


I whole-heartedly recommend this book to those who are married, going to get married, those preparing for the future, or heck, even people who decide to live the celibate life. It's a book to be read, to absorb, and be blessed by.

Enjoy =)

The analysis of the flight of time...

Ever told yourself and your friends that "time flies"?

Many times.... I'm sure I did.

So why did the person throw his clock out the window?

To see time fly.... duh... haha *pfff....

Haha, well its not the point of this blog post. Anyway the thought randomly came into my mind. So I'm gonna spill it all out here. BLAHH...haha

So why does time fly?

Bare with me here.. I'm going to get real technical. Haha.. not really...

Well I noticed that I started mentioning that term, and started reminiscing heavily during high school days... And I would hear from my other mates as well..
And so on until our present age... We'd never stop saying... "Time flies..."

Did you notice? During our younger years... Say, primary years, or just before high school... We'd never say those words.. Well at least I've never heard anyone of them say them.

We'd probably be imagining clocks with wings instead!

In theory, subjected to, as to what is said, deduced with.....just kidding haha

Well I'm suspecting that it's related to our "attention span"
*Gasp....say what??

You know...when we were kids in class... We'd always look at the time. "Arghh time is soo sloww..."
Listening to the lesson, and then go blank, and stare at the clock every ten minutes...

Then jump into high school... Did you notice time zipped by pretty fast? We now have longer attention spans! And of course reminiscing of our fun and stupid times, which seem to grow ever distant every time...

And yeah, taking into account we start to make bigger decisions... Which stream to take, "science or commerce?" Noo! What happened to the good and carefree days?...

Then zip, it's graduation day!.... Another milestone... "Time flies."

So long are the days when we'd just imagine clocks to have wings... And now take on it's dreaded meaning instead.

Anyways... My mind just vomited right there haha...

Enjoy ;)

How long can a person last with just a positive mindset?

How long can a person last with just a positive mindset?

From my experience not very long...

I believe it's the spark that get's you up when your down. And is also the grease that smoothen the grind in life.

But it's really not the thing that sustains a person to keep on going. I think it's more like an "add-on", like and upgrade of your hero in in your computer game.

This grease really does dry up, and you just have to keep on applying it. But like I said it doesn't really sustain a person consistently.

I feel it real bad...
So what's the thing a person really needs to keep on going?

Yep... you guessed it.
Love and affirmation from another human being. Be it family or friends, or whoever.

It's so true.
Yes, it is very good to have a good and positive mindset.

Picture a car... Love and affirmation is the gasoline. And a positive mindset is the grease which keeps the car going smooth and not rusty. It will definitely get that car faster to it's destination.
What's the destination? Your goals, your aspirations, and whatnot. Where are you going?

There is also the quality of gasoline. Much like the quality of love that we're receiving. I hope it's unconditional love.

Like everyone else, I have a love tank that needs to be constantly filled.
If not... I succumb to temptations more easily.

So love the person you meet. You may never know what he or she may be going through. Whether it be a smile, or a cheerful hello, a pat on the back, or whatever... Bring light to that other person's life. Give some gasoline in that tank!

And when you give love, you will receive it a hundred fold.
Keep in mind this only works when you don't expect it back from that other person. Give it freely, and it will be freely given unto you.

I just want to thank God for totally, completely, and perfectly loving me.
I thank all my friends who like to share their laughter with me. Their time, and their love.
And I want to thank you...
For giving your time just to read my not so perfect, not so accurate view, but with every ounce of love I might have, I give it to you through this blog.

God bless...