Today has been a really great day. Full of learning, mostly about myself, how I used to run my life... Well, I still do. But I'm on my way out of it.
I'm on my way to freedom.
That will be the day... reminiscing a past movie called braveheart, where he shout's FREEDOMM!!!
I would also declare freedom from all my defects, and in turn to live a life motivated by love, and never again by fear.
What I learned today. Just in case I might forget, I will note them down here.
That when I work on one part of myself, focus on that one thing which I will let go. That one part of the system of fear in me, which I will gently challenge.
The whole system of fear get's shaken up and weakens...
Another is turn a negative into a learning...
Instead of envying, become interested and learn..
I learned that, I tend to take attention as a substitute from real love...
So I'm letting that go. Slowly, gently, then I can be ready for the real thing itself.
Also when I fear, I tend to focus on myself, how I can benefit, how I must do something in order to prevent loss. It's all about me, me, me, and me...
So I'm letting that go as well... Turning the focus on the interest of the other, for the good of the other... To focus on how I can bless instead.
When I'm desperate for something, I learned that I can become overbearing... And I actually push the other away, instead of attracting.
Lastly, I learned that, all those things such as judging others, putting them down, paranoia, etc. are really just symptoms of what is really pushing the mind, which is either fear, inferiority feelings, hate (misguided love), and guilt, the four principal troublemakers in the realm of the personal subconscious.
Thanks to my spiritual director/ psychologist priest friend (Well, he's not really a psychologist, but he has gone through these things and so he is able to help me.), I'm finding value in myself, and I am on my way to freedom.
To be free to love, just as Jesus loved.
To be free to live a life of love...
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