Me blaming God...

I can't sleep...

So I might as well rant here.

I've been bothered by something lately. And honestly I was having the tendency to blame God for it. That's being brutally honest of me there.

"Why can't I sleep Lord??" I would exclaim... punching the bed.

Why aren't you allowing me to??

And yeah I told myself that I can't blame God. And so I dug deeper, searching for what was really bothering me and cutting me off from my sleep.

Geez... I happily slept at 10pm. Then I suddenly woke up at 1.30am and not being able to sleep any more.

Probably I had energy again to fuel that thing that was pestering me.

I searched, and started to feel fear.
Fear that I was inadequate. That I was not good enough.
I realized I had based myself on the expectations of other people. That I have to be good, I have to love the poor. I have to be good in my studies, I have to be this, I have to be that.

And if I didn't reach any of those expectations I would start to scramble and try my best to do whatever is required but I would fail. I then would start to feel guilty, and feel like a failure.
Like I lost their love for me because I wasn't able to be what they wanted me to be.

I felt my anger escalate and I started to lash back at those things, at all those expectations. I felt like a rebel; "I don't need you to tell me what to do." "I'll do them if I want to." "Stop pushing me around."
(I'm not really the type of person who likes to confront others, so all these were going on in me.)

Look, sorry I can't live up to your expectations ok... I just wanted to feel loved.

I already knew that God loved me just as I am. But it was just very recent that I have started to take it to heart.

So it can't be God's fault for what was going on in me.

And so I had two conflicting things. God loving me just as I am, and the other saying that I have to be good and all that stuff or else I won't be loved.

I realized that I have been chasing those things for love when I actually already had love in me. Just like those cartoon characters with a carrot dangling in front of him and he keeps chasing it never to actually catch it.

From there I realized that I had learned to place high expectations on myself. (And probably on others as well.) Disguising them as "I have to aim high." "High goals" Then I would look at myself and feel like a failure for not reaching those 'high goals'.

Chasing something, and the harder I went after it the more elusive it got.

I don't want to do something out of somebody's expectation, or anything at all...

I recently learned that God loves me just as I am, even if I wake up in the morning and I haven't done anything good, He still loves me.
I don't have to do anything good and He will still love me.

So you ask me... Why then be good? Why not just be bad? Since He will still love me anyway.

Because I have tasted and felt His Love, It is hard not to be good or not to do good.
(Originally from Bo Sanchez's talk -"How to mature in your spirit.")

It is His Love that will transform me, I just have to accept and receive it. Grace...

Therefore I want to do things out of love, to give love, and not to be the one chasing it.
To overflow with love, and that love will bless the people around me.

Love,
Gabby "The life giver"

"The Secret Of Staying in Love" John Powell S,J - A Book Review

“The Secret of Staying in Love” by John Powell, S.J. is not exactly what you initially think it is about, just by looking at the title. I always used to say so when people started teasing me when they saw the cover of this book. But while it is true that it contains the secrets of staying in love, I want to stress that it isn't merely about tips and tricks of how to stay in love on a shallow level. I’d say this is the ultimate book on how to stay in love WITH your spouse or anyone you’re very close with.


It’s funny because here I am, a young adult to be, reading this kind of book. Sometimes, I think I get ahead of myself. Anyway, enough about me, more on the book. Powell starts with the individual person, on the celebration of being you and a lot on self-esteem and having a good self-image.

What struck me the most was that to love others, you must equally love yourself. “True love of others is premised on a true love of self.” I was really struck by that, as I had previously learned differently -- to forget self and just love others. But here’s a book saying something totally different. As Jesus Himself says, love others as you love yourself. So, if you can’t love yourself, it will be hard for you to love others effectively.


Radical isn’t it? The book also explains how selfishness is the very opposite of self-love. It is a form of insatiable greediness. The book also challenges the reader to confront himself by asking, “What are my true feelings? When I hear someone being complimented, why do I say, ‘Don’t tell him. It might go to his head.’? Why don't I want others to be happy with themselves?”

The book goes on to explain how this lack of self-appreciation really affects everybody. It hinders us from true and effective loving, as we seek to distract ourselves from this pain, resulting in addictions and other problematic circumstances. Then Powell explains how this can lead to what you call “fake” love. He goes on to explains what Love really is, as opposed to what it was thought to be previously.

Then comes the biggie. The secret of staying in love. I won’t tell you what it is, or else you wouldn’t read the book... Haha. One thing’s for sure, I never really thought of it that way. This 'secret' really brings people closer together. And it actually makes sense that you must love yourself just as much in order to be able to apply this secret of staying in love with another.

Powell really strikes where it matters most, and brilliantly weaves the book together starting fundamentally from the individual to the couple staying in love. This book is full of wisdom, and will definitely change the mindset of the person reading the book.


I whole-heartedly recommend this book to those who are married, going to get married, those preparing for the future, or heck, even people who decide to live the celibate life. It's a book to be read, to absorb, and be blessed by.

Enjoy =)

The analysis of the flight of time...

Ever told yourself and your friends that "time flies"?

Many times.... I'm sure I did.

So why did the person throw his clock out the window?

To see time fly.... duh... haha *pfff....

Haha, well its not the point of this blog post. Anyway the thought randomly came into my mind. So I'm gonna spill it all out here. BLAHH...haha

So why does time fly?

Bare with me here.. I'm going to get real technical. Haha.. not really...

Well I noticed that I started mentioning that term, and started reminiscing heavily during high school days... And I would hear from my other mates as well..
And so on until our present age... We'd never stop saying... "Time flies..."

Did you notice? During our younger years... Say, primary years, or just before high school... We'd never say those words.. Well at least I've never heard anyone of them say them.

We'd probably be imagining clocks with wings instead!

In theory, subjected to, as to what is said, deduced with.....just kidding haha

Well I'm suspecting that it's related to our "attention span"
*Gasp....say what??

You know...when we were kids in class... We'd always look at the time. "Arghh time is soo sloww..."
Listening to the lesson, and then go blank, and stare at the clock every ten minutes...

Then jump into high school... Did you notice time zipped by pretty fast? We now have longer attention spans! And of course reminiscing of our fun and stupid times, which seem to grow ever distant every time...

And yeah, taking into account we start to make bigger decisions... Which stream to take, "science or commerce?" Noo! What happened to the good and carefree days?...

Then zip, it's graduation day!.... Another milestone... "Time flies."

So long are the days when we'd just imagine clocks to have wings... And now take on it's dreaded meaning instead.

Anyways... My mind just vomited right there haha...

Enjoy ;)

How long can a person last with just a positive mindset?

How long can a person last with just a positive mindset?

From my experience not very long...

I believe it's the spark that get's you up when your down. And is also the grease that smoothen the grind in life.

But it's really not the thing that sustains a person to keep on going. I think it's more like an "add-on", like and upgrade of your hero in in your computer game.

This grease really does dry up, and you just have to keep on applying it. But like I said it doesn't really sustain a person consistently.

I feel it real bad...
So what's the thing a person really needs to keep on going?

Yep... you guessed it.
Love and affirmation from another human being. Be it family or friends, or whoever.

It's so true.
Yes, it is very good to have a good and positive mindset.

Picture a car... Love and affirmation is the gasoline. And a positive mindset is the grease which keeps the car going smooth and not rusty. It will definitely get that car faster to it's destination.
What's the destination? Your goals, your aspirations, and whatnot. Where are you going?

There is also the quality of gasoline. Much like the quality of love that we're receiving. I hope it's unconditional love.

Like everyone else, I have a love tank that needs to be constantly filled.
If not... I succumb to temptations more easily.

So love the person you meet. You may never know what he or she may be going through. Whether it be a smile, or a cheerful hello, a pat on the back, or whatever... Bring light to that other person's life. Give some gasoline in that tank!

And when you give love, you will receive it a hundred fold.
Keep in mind this only works when you don't expect it back from that other person. Give it freely, and it will be freely given unto you.

I just want to thank God for totally, completely, and perfectly loving me.
I thank all my friends who like to share their laughter with me. Their time, and their love.
And I want to thank you...
For giving your time just to read my not so perfect, not so accurate view, but with every ounce of love I might have, I give it to you through this blog.

God bless...

Thank you Lord

Time flies so fast yeah...

I remember when I just got to Melbourne as if it was just a few days ago, it's literally been more than 3 months now, and I'll be heading back to Jakarta soon... Whewh...
I'm pretty excited, as I love to fly. Ironic though, I'm quite afraid of heights, but I love to fly.

Haven't been blogging in awhile yea...

Anyways I just want to share what I've learned recently. I'm pretty much a wisdom junkie haha...

Just two days ago, I went to meet the YFCs here, had a talk from Kuya Kirby Llaban, who just left today to go back to phils...
It's cool cuz somehow I learned something new from the community, and I actually did learn something. I used listen to talks back in Indonesia from the community and it seem like it didn't go in my mind. But this time it did. Probably I didn't have a good mindset before.
I learned the 4 'P's
on growing the community.

Passion for service
Protect your relationships
Prepare your heart
Keep a a regular prayer time

I pray that CFC Indonesia will be revived once again.

The next day, Saturday, we had a Music Min/ Song writing workshop.
I had quite a difficult time getting to the venue, but once I got there, it was totally worth the trouble. There weren't any trains going to the venue, so I had to take the two long bus rides.

I feel proud of myself stepping up and just having the courage to sing in front of many people.
It was definitely a great feeling just running towards my fears and just doing it anyway. During the workshop, someone had to voluntarily sing a line from a psalm in his own way. In his own flow, whatever felt right to the person. And I actually did it! Gosh... Increase confidence points for me =) haha...

Then I had a great Tito and Tita who willingly drove me all the way to the city from far away Werribee! It was even already 12.30am! Man.... I really thank God for such wonderful people. Thank you tito and tita! :D

What a wonderful experience. More inspired to write songs now. To improve my singing. Just simply more inspired to live to the full in my own flow.
Striving to find out what I was created to do. To find my purpose. My deepest happiness, and to bless the world with it.

Thank you Lord...

A post after a long time

I haven't been blogging for awhile huh..

Well, here's my next post after a long, long time.

Ever felt that you weren't good enough?
That you get overly conscious on what you're doing or saying?

Like you see others, and they're that good, and you weren't just good enough?

I've honestly been feeling that way recently.

But thankfully I've learned how to counter those. I can say it's a real pain in the... heart.
haha... You thought I was gonna say that other word did ya? haha...

It's really a painful process, and requires perseverance on my part. Just really grinding it out.

So these are the things that I've learned to counter them.

*Build a good self-image
*Don't compare yourself to others
*Have a daily self-affirmation in morning after getting up, and evening before going to sleep.


Building your self-image

This ones a real must.
What I do is, every morning and evening I read out loud my goals and imagine that I have actually achieved them. Tangible goals, and Intangible goals. Tangible like; Earn $15,000 per month, have a new home, etc. Intangible like; I am a confident person, I am a good people person, I can read fast, etc.
Do it every single day without fail, or it will lose it's momentum & energy.

Don't compare yourself to others.
This is one of my weaknesses. When I look at others, and then I look at myself, I unnecessarily suffer, and am being masochistic in a way.
So what I'm doing my best to do now is just to look at my past, and see how far I have gone. And then I start to feel good about myself.

Have Daily self-affirmation
I do this every morning and evening. I tell myself that I am a good person, that I am totally, completely, and perfectly loved by God, that I am a phenomenal human being, etc.
It really helps me get through, especially when I start to feel self-pity, and when I feel down cuz I compared myself to others.


I'm really in the process of building my character, well consciously doing it.

I've recently learned something as well, the law of reciprocity... is that how you spell that? haha anyways.
I learned that what you give, you receive a hundred times fold.
Want love? Give love first, and you will receive even more.

This I seriously gotta remember.

Day 3 and final - Hunger for more...

Today was crazy...

Best workshop I've ever been through all my life.

Yeps, I sang my composed song hehe... But I still felt I could do much better. I guess it's cuz of lack for preparation. So my bad on my part.

I felt a pretty strong feeling though. I wanted to be as good as those guys who were just really good. It's too bad I wasn't allowed to record any of the performances. I'm sure you would have been blown away.

I'm not entirely sure why I wanna be like them. Need a lot of soul searching for that. If it's the recognition that their getting that I want, or is it because, simply I just love to do it.

I find myself singing more often though after the workshop hehe...
Feeling more inspired to write songs. One is probably on the way already haha... Recorded it in my mobile phone. Just in case I might use it in the future haha..

After the workshop I felt it genuinely that I wanted more, I want to sing some more haha...
I'm definitely going to next year's Dream Inc. workshop.

Until then, I will see how much I have allowed myself to be changed by the workshop.
I guess it's pretty much the choices that I make.

I'll see if I can join David Jaanz's school of singing.

So until then, I'll be working on my 'flow', and just enjoying every single day.

Dream Inc. Music Workshop

Just to show what workshop I'm going through, here it its:

Day 2 - Awesome time haha...

What a day...

Workshop was great.

Today I learned how to write songs, and learned a lot about Jazz.

It was really, really great. This time I went all out during the great 'S curve' warm up with David Jaanz. Just all out. Learned how to sing with emotion, how to sing from the heart. It's just so liberating, just really amazing.

I look forward to tomorrow's workshop. It's the last, so I'm just going to have even more fun than ever.

Giving it one more day, to find out if singing is really my passion. I'm starting to get clues though.

Yeah the other highlight of the day, I met Brooke Fraser! hahah...
Great person. Found out she was a talkative, bubbly person haha... It was cool meeting her.

If you don't know who she is, she's a top artist of NewZealand, and she's part of the Hillsong band. She composed several songs, but my favorite would be Hosanna.

Today I had to perform as well. This time I sang No boundaries, sung by Kris Allen, for 3o seconds. Didn't get to the chorus though haha...
It's alright, the main thing is I did it! yeah... Building my confidence by just getting up there and just sing in front of the 40+ people. hahah...

And again, many, many great singers I cant compare myself to. Goshh.... Who cares though, I'm finding my own 'flow' haha... The main thing is that I love to sing, and I'm just going to do it because I love it.

Somehow I felt a tinge of sadness though... I guess it's because I knew I could do better.
It's alright, I got tomorrow, and I'm just gonna enjoy and do my best.
This time I'll be singing my composed song, wont tell you what it is hehehehe.....
Only for the eyes and the ears of the Australians at the workshop haha!

Hmm... What else did I learn. Oh yeah. I don't care what people think I sound like, and I'm just gonna do what I love to do, and improve on it every time.

Looking forward to the last, and the best workshop.

God be with me. =]

Day 1 - Humbling time

What a day...

Learned a lot about myself during the workshop. Funny I'm suppose to learn more about singing and song writing. But yeah of course I did learn.
The most distinct thing that I actually learned was how much of a perfectionist I was.

Yeah... Pretty tough one. How I would actually see myself as one of the greats. hahah... I'm serious. Well, I didn't actually admit it. But I somehow would start to expect. Even though I would tell myself, no, I'm just going to have fun and learn and that's it.

Phewh... Saw many, many great singers, especially the young kids, 13-15 years of age, and I'm sure, very, very sure that you'd be astounded by how good they were, at such a young age, they're pretty much like divas. Man.... I really salute to their talent.
I'm sure they will go far.

That was such a humbling experience. And yeah, I did sing in front of like 40+ people, and wasn't prepared for it. Whoo... Haha... First time I've ever done that. Well, every single person had to do it anyway haha...
I really congratulate myself for that though. And I'm sure that experience added to my confidence in myself.

The other thing that I learned was that, to be great in the music industry. You gotta be you, because there will only be one you, your uniqueness, and nobody else can be you.

David Jaanz, one of the directors of the Dream Inc. workshop said that, many people in the music industry try to be somebody else, like they try to BE Beyonce, and all the other great stars. And how they become superstars, it's because of they're own personality, they got the edge.

Well, I got two more days of the workshop. I'm really enjoying it though.
I know I will learn a lot more during these next two days.
I guess this time with a little bit more different mindset.

Just go with the flow, have fun, and let whatever will change me, change me.
I guess I had to actually experience being humbled to actually get rid of my perfectionism in me. I wouldn't say it's totally gone. But yeah... Just go with the flow and find my own 'flow'.

Looking forward to tomorrow and the next.

God be with me. =]

This is it...

This is it...

Been waiting for this for months already.
I will find out tomorrow if singing, and songwriting is my passion tomorrow.
Feel a bit nervous. Shaking with excitement in the same time. I hope I can sleep tonight haha...
Well... I'll just enjoy myself.
I'm going to have fun. No matter what.

God be with me.

Life is like learning how to ride a bicycle...

Another thing came into my mind after going through a phase of "I don't care
what people think of me."

I've realized something. Yeah it's true that it's none of my business what people think of me.
But I learned something out of this phase.

I learned that life is like learning to ride a bicycle.

Picture a little boy, who's got a new bicycle from his dad.
Excited, he goes to the park together with dad to try his new ultimate bike.
Still wobbling, trying hard to get it right, while his dad looks on him with a smile, and from time to time holds on to the bicycle to guide him.
And still wobbling, finding it hard to steer his new bicycle, and then suddenly falls...
His dad would come rushing to comfort him, and to encourage him again.

I learned life's like that. It's like learning to ride a bicycle.
We would wobble left and right whenever we learn new things.
We would fall sometimes. But so what?
It doesn't mean we stop riding the bicycle, it's just too fun not to keep going... Well I was like that.
I've had some pretty bad falls.
The worst one was when I was racing with my friend and he was ahead, I accidentally twisted the steering thingy, whatever you call that. haha...
Then I fell face first... Ouch... haha. Tasted the salty and warm road.
Mind you I was going pretty fast. Man... I was called Rudolf the red nose reindeer for sometime haha...

Here's another one. My friend and I were racing again, this time I was ahead, but I had to stop at the side cuz a car was passing by. My friend who was really going fast couldn't stop and hit an island beside me, and he flew forward more than 2 meters, and splashed into the black gutters!

Man I saw it as if it happened in slow motion! Superman! hahaha...
That was the craziest thing I've seen. haha...
I was laughing and asked him if he was okay, but he was angry haha... But it's all good.

Yeah bad falls...But we've never stopped riding a bicycle.

In life we make mistakes. It's alright. We learn from them.
And God, our dad looks on us with a smile, while we learn, while we are being perfected.
No one's perfect while we're here on earth. You can only reach perfection, once your in heaven.

How will you know you can ride a bicycle if you don't even try. Same goes with anything in life.

Well, my main point is it doesn't matter if you make mistakes. God looks on and lovingly smiles at us as we go on through life learning. Just like the little boy learning how to ride a bicycle as his dad looks on and lovingly smiles at him.

Here's an excerpt from John Powell's book "The secret of staying in love."

"The tension resulting from problems and pain is part of the whole piece. It usually directs our attention to a growing edge of life, a territory for expansion. For myself, I do not regret the problems or pain in my past life, but only the apathy, the moments when I was not 'fully alive'"

Yeah, so just have fun as we go through life.
And we'll look back and laugh, reminiscing, good old times, as we grow so much bigger than our problems.

To live a life of Love...

Time for me rant here...

Do you know that feeling when you feel like your the little guy?

It sucks big time.

Looking for approval, waiting for someone to tell you that what your doing is right or wrong...
Gahh...

I realized I've been living like that, and I'm sick of it.

Living with the fear that what I'm doing might be wrong, and the other might disapprove of it. And whenever that would happen I would feel demolished.

I guess this is the most crippling trait I've ever had.
It stops me from moving forward. Gets me stagnant, paralyzed, because I would be afraid to make mistakes, afraid to fail, afraid to make a fool out of myself, afraid what the other might think of me.

I'm so sick of it.

I don't care now. Whatever people will think. I don't care. You don't like me, then that's your problem.

I'm breaking out of this crippling cycle, this paralyzing fear.

I'm going to do my thing, by my own decisions, on my own accord. You're not going to tell me what to do. You're going to ask me, and I'll decide. I'll be my own boss thank you...

And if I make mistakes, then so be it. I will learn from it.

I don't want to live a life driven by fears, to do things because I feared.

But I want to live a life of love, to do things because I loved, with nothing held back, and nothing stopping me.

To do everything out of Love.

That is what I aspire to do... To be fully alive.

"The Glory of God is a person who is fully alive."
-Saint Irenaeus

"The Daily Dozen" by John C. Maxwell

Just wanna share something, I thought would be good...

Today's Attitude.......Gives me Possibilities

Today's Priorities......Give me Focus

Today's Health..........Gives me Strength

Today's Family.........Gives me Stability

Today's Thinking......Gives me Advantage

Today's Commitment..Gives me Tenacity
so re-commit every day...=)

Today's Faith...............Gives me Peace

Today's Relationships..Give me Fulfillment

Today's Finances...........Give me Options

Today's Generosity.......Gives me Significance

Today's Values...............Give me Direction

Today's Growth.............Gives me Potential


Whatever you do today, even though little, do that every day, it will compound into the future. =)

What you focus on grows.

Peace...

Life is a collection of Buckets...

I got that from Bo Sanchez. Very Inspiring guy huh... Well at least to me he is.
Go read his article here : Do you want a life of abundance?

Well... Just like what he said, "life is a collection of buckets"... Here are mine.

Phewh... I'm putting myself on the line just by telling you my life goals and dreams.
I hope this challenges you to do the same, to set goals for yourself and achieve them. =)

The first 12, I got them from John C. Maxwell's "Today Matters" The daily dozen... Whatever you do today, compounds into tomorrow.

So Here goes...!

Attitude
Every day I Gabby will be cheerful, positive, and will always play to win.

Priorities
Every morning I Gabby will set my priorities for the day.

Health
I Gabby will follow my schedule for my work out days.
I Gabby will take my vitamins every day.
My maximum time to stay awake is 1am.
I Gabby will achieve my ideal weight of 63 KGs by November 28th 2009.

Family
Every week, whenever I can, I Gabby will talk to my family, grow my relationship with them.

Thinking
Every morning, during my sacred times, I Gabby will think about the different areas of my life, of what I need to improve in.

Commitment
Every Morning, I Gabby will recommit to my goals by reading and declaring these.

Faith
Every morning and every Evening before I sleep, I Gabby will have my formal prayer time, but the whole day I will remind myself that I am always in God’s presence.

Finances
By the Age of 27-28, or earlier, I Gabby, will be a Millionaire in US$, with a cash-inflow of US$1 Million per year.
By the time I graduate, I Gabby will be earning US$15,000 per month through the internet, real-estate, and network marketing.
By next year April 11th 2010, I Gabby, will be earning US$5,000 per month through the internet, REAL ESTATE, and network marketing.
And by this year October 30th 2009, I Gabby, will be earning US$200 per day through the internet, and network marketing.
I Gabby have achieved my very first sale of singing success, though 5 days late, but still. I made it. Yeahh....
OK so the lesson here is to be flexible.

Relationships
I Gabby will be open to new relationships every day, for friendship and self-knowledge.
With the friends that I have right now, as much as possible I will get close to them, and love them as best as I can.
I Gabby will hangout more with the people who will bring me up, and encourage me.

Generosity
I Gabby will give to the needy whenever I pass them. I Gabby will treat one of my friends once a month beginning September 2009.
From the income that I will be getting, I Gabby will give to God 10% every time I receive.
My goal is to give to God 90%, and I will live on the 10% comfortably and still in financial freedom.

Values
I Gabby will always follow my higher values every day. Greatest of all is Love.

Growth
I Gabby will continue to seek wisdom, continue learning, and will be teachable every single day.
I Gabby will read and complete at least 2 new books on personal development every month.




Short Term Goals
Financial
How to get to the $200 per day?
Network marketing and internet marketing.
Network Marketing
Get everyone off my list by end of September.
Achieve ETT and have 12 customer points by September 18th 2009.
Achieve ETL by October 31st 2009
Achieve TC by November 28 2009

Internet Marketing
How to achieve US$200 per day?
Achieve first sale of my Dad and I’s business by Sept 31st 2009.
How?
Research more in blogging forums, change the header. Dig for more relevant keywords.
Improve CTR and quality of ads.

Improve my squidoo lens by Sept 5th 2009.
How?
Research singing forums, change site tag, make squidoo article shorter.
Make 5 more articles for singing by next Saturday September 5th 2009.



Study Goals
Achieve HD for all my subjects.
How?
Prepare before hand for classes, the pre-reading.
Submit all assignments and projects on time.
If I don’t understand something, always ask.
Always time-chunk and do everything as fast as possible, that way I tend to focus more.
Follow my study time schedule, 4-6.30pm.
Make a schedule for studying materials following the Adam Khoo Style. Revising each chapter within 24hours, 1 week, 1 month, and 3 months.
Remember the deadlines of all the assignments and finish them as early as possible, that way if I need to improve on something, I will always have time.
Do more than what is needed.

Long Term goals
April 11th 2009 achieve US$5,000 per month.
How?
Internet Marketing, Network Marketing, Real-estate.
Before I go back to Jakarta from the Philippines, I will have my very first house. December 31st 2009.
Before I graduate from university I Gabby will be earning US$15,000 per month.
How?
Achieve RVP by August 2011.
Have 3 houses by Aug 2011 to be rented out.
Internet Marketing, have all sites up and running and earning a stable income.

Yep... I seriously am putting myself on the line for telling you this.
Now I'm accountable to you, whether I achieve these or not.

May God be my witness and my guide. x)

Start small... Dream big =)

Do we truly love??

Hey guys... Something just suddenly popped into my head. And I so want to talk about it haha..

So what is true love really?

I’ve been hearing a lot, or seeing a lot especially from the adolescent lovey dovey, and the like. “true love stays, superficial love doesn’t”

But really? Do we really know what true love is??

Yeah it is true “true love does stay”.

What I learned is, true love is unconditional love. Love for better or for worse.

A Love that forgets self, and is only interested in the good for the other.

So when we say those three little words “I love you”, do we really mean it?

I pray that we do.

I guess I am slowly learning love’s true meaning. I guess now, I can truly say, I love my family and I totally accept them as they are.

I guess that is where you learn to love unconditionally, your family. For better or for worse. =)

I now realize that whatever I thought of love was before, it wasn’t love. Those were the days huh... Boy girl relationships. Those were just nice feelings of love, but it didn’t mean I truly loved the other.

We really have to be brutally honest with ourselves. What are we really looking for?

Affirmation? To feel good? To be “in” because your friends are in a relationship too?

I guess maturity comes with time, and evaluated experience and the will to keep on learning and to keep growing, and always seeking wisdom.

I read from a book by John Powell, that the real acid test to real love. Have we truly forgotten ourselves?

Since true love is only interested in the good for the other. Or is it all about you? In this part we really have to be brutally honest to ourselves, since we have the capacity to actually lie to ourselves. I know I have done that too many times.

Yeah so just to conclude. True love only seeks the good for the other.

Stuck in a rut...

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -
Benjamin Disraeli

That's right...
More like never apologize for your emotions, because you can't. You are feeling them and they are a part of you.

Emotions are like friends, they reveal who you really are at That POINT in time. But...a BIG BUT...

Yeah they are like your friends, they tell you stuff, you Listen, but it doesn't mean that you have to follow what they say.

Like friends, you never ever reject your emotions. But you don't always have to follow what they say.
You follow your Higher Values.

Accept them for what they are, listen to them, and then let go...

Well, for this post, it's pretty much just to remind myself just that...

I admit... yeah I do...

To describe; "I feel like a little boy who has just hurt his big toe, and in pain doesn't see any one to help him, all he can do is just wait until his big toe heals or at least hurt lesser, and he can get back up again."


Just a description of what I'm feeling at this point in time. (May not be totally accurate, but I'm working on to describing my emotions as accurate as possible.)
This is me, at this point in time... Of course you wouldn't really know exactly, because I haven't told you the "why." Lol...

Just one more thing I learned. Your emotions reveal to you on where you have to grow. Nobody causes your emotions, rather it is already in you, only that it is stirred up. So you can't blame anyone for your emotions, or "causing" you to feel this way. You own them.

Remember just listen, feel, no thinking, and then let go when it is time to let go.

If you believe in God, there's another part to the equation. Just listen, feel, no thinking, just offer up your feelings, ask him to hold your hand... Then let go of your feelings..When it is time to do so.

I've heard a saying from one of the saints.. Forgot who though.. Was it St. Francis of Assisi? or St. Ignatious?.... haha...Owh well...

"Never make life/major decisions, during the dark of the night."

Peace...

Mindset

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent
or praiseworthy--
think about such things.

Philippians 4:8, New International Version

About me

I got this in www.mypersonality.info after trying out the personality test.
Try it out.. It's pretty neat =D

Oh yeah... I found out that that the percentage of INFJs in the world population is only about 1%!
More specific: Males 0.5%
Females 1%

Makes me feel real special haha...

Nevertheless try it out... You'll learn something about yourself. And then try it again in the future, there will be changes for sure. Well... People change.

INJF descriptions: (Pretty neat huh… :D )

“INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.”
- Portrait of an INFJ (The Personality Page)

“INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and “live in the here and now” of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect.”
- INFJ Profile (TypeLogic)

“creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant…”
- INFJ Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)
“…desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes…”
- The Portrait of the Counselor Idealist (Keirsey)

“INFJs tend to be devoted to what they believe in and seek work where their needs, values, and ideals can be deeply engaged. They move on the wave of their inspirations and are determined to see that their values are worked out in their lives. They will work toward their goals individually and, when needed, will put together a team of other highly dedicated people like themselves.”
- INFJ – The Mystic (Lifexplore)

First Blog Entry of many

Hey world.

This will be the outlet of my overloading brain of so many thoughts and inspirations or whatever rant.

So enjoy, and I hope whatever I will be sharing will give you added value to your life.

Cheers!